One of the anguishing challenges of parenthood is the disciplining their teen or teenagers. Teens that naturally want to begin the separation process from their parents are often considered rebellious and wild. Their behavior will often leave parents in a perplexed state where they just can't fathom how to discipline their teen, but they know that they need to. Often the reception of teenage discipline is very unwelcome, and the teen's intellect will be mature enough where they can articulate ways to argue or make the parent feel bad about the discipline they received.
In many cases, it is just a plain reality that they are rebellious and wild, and often it takes mature forms of punishment in order to correct their net yet developed adult rationality. Approaching discipline to troubled teenagers that are oppositional or defiant is one of the toughest parts of parenting teenagers. I will give you some great ideas on how to discipline and punish a defiant or oppositional teenager.
Grounding is a great discipline for teens.
Simply ground them. Probably one of the best methods of disciplining and punishing teenagers or troubled teenagers is simply to ground them. This basically means to take away a privilege that they once had for a set period of time. There are very good things to ground them from. Some include: the computer, cell phone, phone, car, television, friends, and many activities and hobbies that they like. If they are oppositional or defiant this teaches them that their privileges under your roof still come from you, and that you can remove their privileges. Grounding is parenting 101, and should be used as a first approach to giving your teenager correction. It is often good to assign a good list of chores during the time that they are grounded to not allow for their idle hands to become the devil's playground.
Also it is incredibly important to ground them at a point when you are calm from their behavior so that you are sure to stick to the given amount of time that you have grounded them. If you budge on this form of discipline and reduce the grounding, it will cause the punishment to become redundant, and eventually useless. So be sure to always stick to the amount of time that you have grounded them without any leeway.
A lecture is worth its weight in gold!
Give them long drawn out lectures on their behavior and relate it to real stories of danger and situations that you have either personally experienced, or that you know of. Put their actions into real life scenarios that really have happened to show them how their actions affected real people's lives and / or how their behavior is dangerous. A troubled teenager will often be more open to real life scenarios than direct orders. There is no way for a teenager to be oppositional or defiant to stories that you have personally witnessed or experienced. Good parenting requires relating to your teens in personal experiences, so that your teenager understands that you can relate to them. Your teen can be disciplined off of lessons you learned, and it is especially wise to teach them the lessons that you unfortunately learned from the school of hard knocks.
Use tough love techniques to disciple your teen.
For an extremely rebellious teenager or troubled teenager, remove the door from their room. This means to take a hammer and screwdriver and pop the hinge bolts out of their door to physically remove it. This will leave a teenager to understand that they are part of a family, and not 100% independent. Oppositional and defiant teens will be forced to understand that this is your home and under your roof their life is part of the parents. Until their behavior improves and they accept to follow your rules keep their door off. Their privacy is limited to a bathroom. This typically affects both males and females evenly as each sex often tends to become more "hermit like" during their teen years. Oftentimes, they will react in a very upset manner when they find their door (that often locks) completely removed.
Sometimes parenting requires tough love and will force you to take actions that you wish you wouldn't have to. Remember having to discipline your teenager is one of the toughest things a parent has to do. It is your responsibility to guide your teen into their adult years, and to love your teen means that you need to discipline them.